I'm Leaving (story+thoughts) :c

did you ever feel how hard is it to leave someone you love? (specificaly im not talking about boys ok .. im talking about friends..)

so long my dad works in some place where every 2/3 years he will work out from this country for 3/4 years approx. idk...i went to a lot of country before but I loved thailand i miss living there..(since that's the only place i remember being there :s)

So i just got back from school (5th september 2012) and my mom suddenly said .if we go out again you're going to go to college in the country we will go . so i was like .. why is she saying this..so i asked ,why do you ask this? .and she said that my dad got gossips that he's going to berlin probably this year or next year..

I was in a moment of silence for real..because a couple of years ago he also got gossips he'll be going to berlin and it was real but it got cancelled cause he got promoted (moment of happiness)

Back to the story..so then i asked when. she doesnt know . i don't really have a lot to say so i just stood there and cry (my mom is driving so she can't see) and i can't stop thinking about it till now so i decide i want to write this

so i'm at my home now opened my computer scrolling on my friends facebook profile. my picture with them and just...cry...cause im not going to see them not so long...and to think that i'll be going to college there..makes me think college prob. around 3/4 years or more... so... highschool 2years=college =6 years

HOLY SHIT 6 FLIPPIN YEARS. I'LL BE 21 WHEN I GOT BACK HOME.



I don't want to go ... really ...and even the most beautiful country ever. i still don't wanna go ... do you know why?

I LOVE IT HERE..why do i love it here? BECAUSE MY FRIENDS IS HERE. :( yes . i love my friends sososo much i literally can't imagine leaving them . i know i will get new friends there,i will get good friends there ... but You can't replace anyone . even there's a new friend.  you can' replace the old one . they are all original . they are all...................my friend

I MEAN .6 friggin years you kidding me?? i can't even imagine like 6 years ago i was freaking 9 and its SOSOSOSO long time ago .... and imagine that im gonna live SO FAR like in europe . and you can't just go back to indonesia anytime you want

even when i live in thailand i only got back home like once a year or twice a year... IMAGINE LIVING HERE.MUCH MUCH FURTHER . I WILL NEVER GOING BACK :( I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE I WILL CRY ALL DAY . I HATE GOODBYES. i hate it so much why does it need to exist..how do i say to my friends that i will leave like "hey im leaving you for 6 years okay, see you guys in 2019 or 2018 ..

My heart feels like it got stabbed now..

Teenager's immature stuffs...

i just want to point out a view things.i just wanna tell a lot of teenager's facts.and  ive been in a teenager's "immature" life and have experience 85% of them.until i open my eyes and see the reality
and since im a teenager im still immature and change things a looooot.but i try not to take them too far

DATING
i just hate teenagers immature personality. and it always makes me puke inside when i see my friend dating and acted like they last forever and acted so cute like ...baby gooo goooo pumpkin pieee awwwww so sweet.

HA.HA stupid . they probably las less than 4 months. and even they last years. their relationship isnt as sweet as the first month.

i mean, dating is like trend .right. you feel like you wanna date someone and you get them and then when you get bored of it you leave them.cmon why are you dating? you guys are still immature and cant even take care of yourself. your mom is still telling you to brush your teeth.

the reason you wanna date is because you want happiness. they will end. and it ends with breakups and cries and tears and stuffs. and thats.not.happiness . Haha.yes you secretly wanna tell the whole world you have a boy/girlfriend . dont waste your young life by a useless pointless dating..and you guys just might end up doing something innapropriate.......


FRIENDS,BEST FRIENDS
your friends,or you probably have a group of friends,and if you don't,you're like me ,we should date ;)or be besties..lol xx

anyways, your friends,they have a group of friends who always hang out together and clarify themselves "besties" and the next month theyre not besties anymore and they hate eachother because they all fighting...mentally,duh.only boys do physically..sometimes.

and puhleaaaaseee just because you met 1 friend and you talked for a week or more and you find a lot of things in common. doesnt mean you will be besties forever..there are some side of your friends that you dont know.

people are like layers you know. some peal easily and some takes years,and revealing something more from them. you can't just say "yeah i chat with her for 3 weeks everyday,i know her" . -lisacim

you need to know what they like,love,dislike,hate and all of their feelings.

you know...people acted different here in the internet life. and you will always see a different side of them . and if you're one of them.you probably think that youre the only one . NOOOOOO a lot of your friends from your school are like you too.what u see on the outside is not what you see in the inside.

try to talk to them hang out and tell stories , they probably just like you!


INSECURITIES
99,9% of teenagers encounter this problem called insecurities.

"i dont deserve to live"
WHO SAYYYYYS you probably say that in the internet. and to have internet it requires electronic gadget and money. and you have them . homeless people will look at you like a rude jerk for saying that. you still have someone to love. could be from ur friends,family,cousin,internet friends idk. as long as you have that. you DESERVE TO LIVE


"nobody loves me"
HAHAHAHA yeah right. then agaain..you have internet,you have money. and the one who gives you internet is your parents. and they love you so u can have an internet.whats your excuse now? and if u dont trust nobody right now (your friends) just love your parents! give them your story,your trust.
your parents sacrifice more than your friends does.


"i have no reason to be smiling and happy right now"
once again. HAHAHAHA dont say that unless you:
dont have internet
dont have parents
dont have friends
dont have money
dont have foods
dont have home
dont have your dignity


"im so ugly,im not as pretty as other girls"
im not gonna laugh this time. but as so you know that the "pretty girls" are also insecure for how they look like.
and youre as stupid as them
listen,why should you be insecure?im 100% sure in your life you saw people who are uglier than you.and you're just like "oh another human passing by"
and why are you afraid to see people just because you think youre ugly? no one gives a crap on how you look.
just think when someone passing by in front of you ,you don't really care. but the person who passed by possibly think they're the ugliest human alive. but you dont think that , right?you don't even care.
so as the same you dont need to faken yourself to look like someone else. when WHO YOU ARE is already awesome

look at yourself on the mirror and see what you see, a beautiful human being . theres a lot of people who dont really have perfect body parts. and they are less insecure than you are. whats your excuses now?

I know you are more rude in the internet than real life

Title says it. So is that true? Im sure! yea!
mostly in youtube. 'cause thats when cyber-rude-people are all over !

so I just wanna say some words to you CRP(cyber rude people) HAHA lol i made that up

what are you doing silly?being mean to all of those people there on youtube saying negative comments.
Cmon are you serious?You are stupid because you are afraid to say that in REAL LIFE. I don't really think you have real life! haha jk :p

like ive said. treat people the way you wanted to be treated. SO. STOP SITTING IN FRONT OF YOUR LAPTOP LIKE STUPID AND MOCKING PEOPLE AROUND THE INTERNET.

If you can be nice then why can't be you be nice also in the internet?stop being mean . you stupid .. lol im mean
I owe it im huge different in real life and in the internet . BUT. In the internet life i never and will never leave comments bad stuffs and brokes someones heart . Because Im nice

Im so weird

bye

What have your mom been giving to you?

the title says it all.

i just wanna give a short message.. well the specific topic that ill be discussing is about your parents.
here's what your mom and what you did for the past couple of years on your life.

when you're 1 yr Mom gave you food to make you healthy
you throw up those foods

when you're 4 mom takes you on school
but you cry and mad 'cause you dont wanna

when you're 6 mom gave you pair of clothes
you reply them by throwing those clothes away 'cause you don't like it

when you're 12 you mom gave you cool phone gadget etc
you reply them by staying inside you room all day and let your mom be alone outside

when you're 14 your mom waiting for you to come home from school
but you reply them by running to your room with no conversation

when you're 18 your mom is worried about you at school
you reply them by shutting and locking your room and say "Don't bother me! Im Tired!"

all these days your mom gave everything for you. your mom sacrifice everything,taking care of you from 0 age till now. but you hate her,and you don't want her in your life right?most of you are

ONE DAY. when you're older.your mom will get older too.then you see her sleeping . but her body is stiff as eyes,her eyes are closed tight and will not gonna open again for you.She just left you forever

there will be no more smile you mom gave to you when you arrive from school,there will be no more tears from her because all of you mistake, there will be no more hug from her, no more her cute laugh

Please.. if your mom still here with you . hug her. Tell her that you love her and give everything you can to make her happy . a simple "I love You" can make her happy. so one day if she leave you. there will be no regret:)

I found the most inspirational person EVAH

I just wanna tell you guys that ive found someone who's very inspirational..and..really she's my role model'

SHE'S Lisa cimorelli..from the cimorelli family.its not that i dont' like the others..I DO..but Lisa's personality ..especially her advice and her point of view ..is just the most greatest and amazing thing..i mean seriously you gotta see her! check her formspring too formspring.me/lisacim .. i mean she's 18..she has NO boyfriend and never had  a boyfriend..she's saving her first kiss for her marriage..
AND SHE NEVER SWEARS..i mean WTF(whytheface) kids and ppl these day 99% of them swears..

but lisa and the rest of the family dont!! omgomg..amazing..

AND MOST OF ALL..HER VOICE IS FANTASTICAL AMAZINGAL and i dont even think amzingal is even a word...but who cares..

LISA I LOVE YOU
CIMORELLI I LOVE YOU! AAAHHH im nutss...i got rabies laowlaowlao ZOMGBBQPASTA . the cimorelli makes the music perfect

Short Message For ya'll haters out there

Hey people. I just wanna give a short message to people who likes to hate.In my school theres a lot people who hate someone judging by their eye..point of view

"that girl wears to much make up"
"that girl style is so off-trend and are stupid as s*it"
"hahaha that girl have an imaginary friend,FREAK!!"
"that girl&boy always sits and walks alone..what a creep they don't have any friend" and tryna make fun of them
"YOURE FAT"
"YOURE SKINNY"

OH GOSH I swear i wanted to shout either slap nor cry at the same time to the person who said this.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY. ARE YOU PERFECT SAYING SUCH A WORDS?! ARE YOU BETTER THAN THEM?! cmon! HAVE YOU EVER LIVE LIVING THEIR LIFE BEFORE?! HUH?????

I saw a wise comment on youtube im not sure what it was.But..let just do this my way



"that girl wears to much make up" : You don't know how she's feels,feeling she's the ugliest and putting tons of make up just to make YOU say she's pretty

"that girl style is so off-trend and are stupid as s*it" You don't know that their parents are broke so she don't have enough money to buy them a new pair. UNLIKE YOU.

"hahaha that girl have an imaginary friend,FREAK!!" : You don't know that she cries in her room because their parents fight and she is stressed and don't have enough friend 'cause they thinks she's stupid

"that girl&boy always sits and walks alone..what a creep they don't have any friend" and tryna make fun of them  : YOU DONT KNOW. That they have mental problem have comunicating with people and they always shy to talk to other people.Their parents try hard to make them have many friends.but it turns out u make fun of them!

"YOURE FAT" : You don't know she's going on a diet just to make them skinnier.LIKE YOU

"YOURE SKINNY" : You don't know she's have tons of pills eaten to make them fatter and stressed enough mocked in school as the skinny guy.


YOU NEVER FEEL HOW THE FEEL,UNLESS YOU LIVE THEIR LIFE.DON'T EVER JUDGE SOMEONE BY THEIR LOOK.LET KNOW THEM BETTER.THEN YOU CAN JUDGE

im so highly emotional right now..idk..i just..wanna shout thiss words in front of those haters face..


peace! bye

Kid

so now when you're a teenager .somewhere deep inside you think you every age that are huge below you are "stupid". as in the word..don't have the same mind as ours..So everytime you talk to a below 8 year old, you prob. gonna say with the weird tone ,like all of the adults talk to little kids..You know... the tone where dora says in the tv show.. lol.

Well most of you gonna say "i can't get along with little kids,im a teenager" well it DOESNT makes sense dude. You WERE a little kids.how come you say you can't get along..see your mind when you're 7 were like..40% then when you're a teenager you are 70%. So you can think using the 40% of your mind to play with them..if ya know what i mean.well if you say "i can't get along with adults,im a teenager" well..that does makes sense..lol

guess what.in my spare time i spent thinking about life..and kids..well..I remember how i used to be a kid . play and have fun..OH such a memories. So I see little kids passed by and then i try to play with them and so that i get along!

here's how i do it. Now I close my eyes and imagine myself at that age and ALL of the memories from that age that i could remember. Then.other than thinking memories from that age I also Think the way-my-mind-think when i was that age too..

like I thought that monsters were real..and all of the gadget from kids next door on cartoon networks were real..So then i forgot all of my thought and mind from when im a teenager.and focused from when i was their age..


and I play with them..so it was COOL being a kid again having so much fun. and little kids may think us as a "friend" instead of a senior or big bro/sis..

haha! random..weird...but COOL!